Showing posts with label moody ones~. Show all posts
Showing posts with label moody ones~. Show all posts
めぐみ

Yea, true enough.
I'm missing someone~!!
So make a guess~
Who's that lucky one. =p
Lolz,
It's real easy.
My darn lil brother~!!
He's not gone missing,
Just attend a camp in Johor for 35 days.
It's all for his own good.
Well, as family members understand him more than anyone.
Wat i can say he desperately needs tat camp.

Today it's the 4th day.
I've started missing him on the very 1st day,
When i stepped into my house without seeing him around.
When i saw no one is in front of the laptop and it's 24/7 for me to use,
When there's no voice of his,
When there's no one for me to argue wif,
When i cant see his dirty clothing all around his room,
And when now my tears are rolling down my cheek,
He's not around me although he provides no help.
He'll just pretend he saw nothing and continue his Cabal. =.=

I need his accompany~!!!
Although i dont like his attitude, the way he talks to me,
Although we fight like mad dog and cat,
Although he'll snatch all my food and snacks,
Although we fought N times until i wonder does he treat me as a sis,

It seems so empty at home.
Although i have my aunt here,
It's still 4 ppl in this house,
I lost some feeling,
Warm,
Smiley,
Voice,
.
.
.
Frankly,
I feel lonely at home now,
31 more days to go.
It's sooooo long.
I cant really concentrate wif all my books in front of me.
Homework starting to buried me..

I'm so N,
Tat's wat ron always describe me.
He'll say :" Do you know wat's the difference between me and you?
You're so N, i'm not"
Duh,
Wat kind of brother is tat?!! >.<
But honestly,
When he's at home,
I'll complain how bad is he, how he bullied me, how he treat me n bla bla bla.
But now, i'll just fell so lonely and miss him much~!

Ron,
I miss you alot although i know how bad you treat me. @@
Make good use of ur time there and bring bak wat u should.
Come bak fast,
Promise jie k?
Love
めぐみ


Neh!!!
Phew, phew, phew..
quite sometime i was blank...keep on seeing frens updating theirs while i remain mine...
I was not having empty schedule, just felt nothing worth to mention bout...
p/s, my bro snatch this laptop away from days since chinese was the oli paper left..
It was heaven for him now..
Missing those days last year, when i was so free till i flew to taiwan..
arrrgggh!!
my weight show no sign of decreasing...T.T
i'm crapping..it was increasing for this past 1 year...
duh!!
Do i know you??
i'm not losing memories, i'm asking myself...
These days, especially now, this question kept on mingle over me.
It was not the 1st time,
Others do know who am i more than myself.
They can analysis my every character, actions, thinking..
Although it's not 100/100, but why they can?
frankly speaking, i cant...
I cant actually analysis wat am i, wat do i really like, wat kind am i..
I just know wat action i'm taking as it happens frequently.
sometimes when they describe me,
I wonder, am i such person??
How do they know me so good...
hmm,
sometimes i really do wonder why i so stupid...
walao,
getting more n more ppl saying me- N (naive n noob) T.T
Maybe tis holiday make me insane...
Christmas is coming soon...=)
although thinking of tat create more problems..
aiya...
dont ever make myself sad...^^
But, let me ask you something first...
*Do you know me?*
めぐみ
I regret........
Tat's the only word i can say...
I'm back to wat i looked 1 year ago, i'm having short hair now....T.T
i miss my loooong hair!!
haiz, actually i cant do anything, the only way is just to wait and wait, wait for them to grow back.
actually i went to saloon on tuesday. Hoping to get some rebounding.
The uncle was great.
His skills, how he communicate, how to joke wif us..he was a great man..=)
But, i dunno why i just accept his advice to cut my sideburn! T.T
You also went to saloon before, if you node ur head, ur hair is gone.
Just wat i experienced before, my whole head lose 3 inches of hair!! OMG!!
If you know me, i do love my hair very much and i keep on growing my hair.
I have not been to saloon for this pass 1 year just to keep them long.
Then here comes my nightmare, i'm having the same length of short hair on year 2008.
Sob sob sob........T.T
When i get back to my room, i looked into the mirror, i think i cried?? oops~
Somehow i just cant accept this fact, tat i said 'yes' to cut my hair short......=(
My whole brain,
still thinking about my hair my hair..
no face see ppl...@@
1 more year....1more year...
Nid to wait 1 more year oli i can become someone i want?!
Haiz....speaking frankly...
I got nothing to do...
Wat i nid is to just....
WAIT~~~~!!
めぐみ
sorry guys...long time didnt post...lazy cells ruling over me...furthermore i'm so busy wif my current social life...i can list out '100 reasons of having busy life'...i'm full of so-call-reasons...== ok stop it...going into main idea...

tat day...err...one day...nope, it should be one night...i went to someone's wake wif ws...i'm a big girl...i can drive now, i hang wif my frens often, we play and do crazy stuff...BUT not going to someone wake or funeral with big bunch of buddies...! ok...i drove my fren there...we went in two...stepping into some place i went before...but it doesnt belongs to me...those idols...those sounds...fire and smoke...fake money...i dont really feel comfortable there...but i really want to put a visit to my fren...py...her bro died of blood cancer...leukemia...i think i've got the correct spelling?? i noe tat she can just break down cos of the death...so i insist to make a visit...

the place was so damn jam...3 person's wake in the same moment...damn...somemore...i dunno which place is hers...i didnt even sms her tat i'm coming...oli way...find wif ur own eyes...luckily...my first 'choice' hit the jackpot...we saw her sitting there...they have sort of so-call-system-or-procedure...we waited there almost one hour to talk to her...she cry her heart out...her eyes seems so so red until i'm so sad and down tat night..."it's good for both...ur bro wont suffer anymore...your family also wont have to suffer then onwards..." tat's wat i can say...but deep inside my heart...it's a pain...burden...i suffer...really much pain dwelling inside me...

i and my fren stuck there fer almost 2 hours...we left cos ws's father gotta get a parang knife chasing her if she's not bak home on time...i rushed her bak...then the burden starts bursting out again...it's a new experience stepping into someone's wake without parents' guidence...without someone to protect you...those images i saw just overcome me...it's really SAD to see someone 23 years old just pass away without knowing God...

those burden...pain i mean is knowing someone...knowing souls just leave the world without knowing God...without knowing Him who saves them...without accepting God as their savior...i said it's a relief...but it's NOT!! yes...they left this cruel and painful world...but their next and forever destination it's more and more suffering...it feel so pain when i see souls just going there...

these burdens....God put 'em into me...He let me see...how painful His heart is...He let me feel 'em also...and He's always talking to me...i noe i need to prepare for those prophesies...i need to medidate 'em...as i am making into reality...i AM going to...! so Lord help me...to be sensitive to you...i'm getting mad n dissapointed as many of 'em dont appreciate You...give me those strength to overcome 'em.....

life...so fragile...so brittle...friends....appreciate yours...as it's the ONLY one you get...make it meaningfull and cherish 'em... kado...i'm cherishing mine...so wat bout yours?? [11:56pm]
めぐみ
Things get quite messy now...all over here and there...up and down...err...in short = messy~ i dont really know how to manage 'em...i dont know how to keep and clean 'em...wif my blanky mind...empty eyes...blood-less heart...wat should i do???

I'm really messy inside...really...this life now is getting busy and busier...tough and real tough...i'm just like driving on a road wif port-holes, rocks, drain of water...that's not real difficult road...but...it's just me who cant manage well...so you also know wat...i met rocks...tumble and tumble...

So fast...? nid healing again...?? i didnt really plan it...it was quite-too-fast...i'm like having a test...not SPM or STPM...it's a faith and trust from God...faith and trust-worthy...should i plant that seed?? or i shouldn't...can i trust?? or i shouldn't...tis is my weakness...God is putting me into these kind of test-ES...not one...two...or three...more than wat you know...

I think i cant get it...cant continue 'em...it's healing stop again...really...it's not time to say rubbish...tell everyone wat bad feeling i'm having...scolding those who hurt me...SORRY FRIENDS...i shouldn't say those *wat-the-heck, damn...even fer bull-shit* ...it make you guys feel bad ya...sorry...sorry...just kinda hiding myself through these...

But thanks...fer always lending me your hands...hold and pick me up through these storm...you guys NEVER put me aside alone...NEVER~! that's wat i'm really grateful of...really...sincere from my heart... And also those swims...thanks onn...it really do helps me...relaxing myself...floating or even *flying* there...that free-flow-feel...wow...really comfertable...

I'm getting out from healing stop in no time!! I promise...you guys really motivate me...through your smiles...i love smiles...i really do...*smile smile*...white teeth...haha~~
[25/6/09 1:33am]
めぐみ
yea...he is now with a bitch there! i am NOT jeolous about it~just cant stand how flower flower heart he is...haha...within XX days he can say those f****-ing words...CONGRAS! to both of you...memang sepadan...

your mouth can sprinkles those damn words into nice, smell good words...even they taste sweet...like honey...OH...suddenly i rmb tat...you both have the same mouth even...where can i find to 'lovely' couple in this sand-filled-earth?? nope...you both are so so so special...

everyone knows wat tat bitch did...and you are so co-operative...u guys make such damn working team~i cant say you guys as stereotypically portrayed anti-intellectual, superficial or even being flashy...*wah, so bright*...i just describe YOU as gaudy flashy...maybe u seems uncouth these days...bluh...never mind...i dont care and are NOT interested now...! erm...forever...?! yea...

'bye...?' 'nothing can we say already...?' COME ON...use your own brain...if you dont have one...use your kidney...sometimes your word or even your face rile me...yea...so...just fly where you want...it's not my business...wat u gotta do is to inform your 'cutey' bitch...yap! OK-TAT'S OVER!

ermm...maybe all of you will think that i'm out of my mind...maybe like something so-called-something came inside my body...NOPE...nothing happened to me...just throwing out my damn bad feelings out...tis doesn't influced me as a really good-excellent-bravo-english-MUET-teacher's daughter...i am still who am i...just when something bad splash on your head...you can't stand those smelly-dirty-polluted water dripping on your head...I AM STILL WHO I AM...so~ don't get frighten of me...haha~

good day guys...! [11:32pm]