Things get quite messy now...all over here and there...up and down...err...in short = messy~ i dont really know how to manage 'em...i dont know how to keep and clean 'em...wif my blanky mind...empty eyes...blood-less heart...wat should i do???

I'm really messy inside...really...this life now is getting busy and busier...tough and real tough...i'm just like driving on a road wif port-holes, rocks, drain of water...that's not real difficult road...but...it's just me who cant manage well...so you also know wat...i met rocks...tumble and tumble...

So fast...? nid healing again...?? i didnt really plan it...it was quite-too-fast...i'm like having a test...not SPM or STPM...it's a faith and trust from God...faith and trust-worthy...should i plant that seed?? or i shouldn't...can i trust?? or i shouldn't...tis is my weakness...God is putting me into these kind of test-ES...not one...two...or three...more than wat you know...

I think i cant get it...cant continue 'em...it's healing stop again...really...it's not time to say rubbish...tell everyone wat bad feeling i'm having...scolding those who hurt me...SORRY FRIENDS...i shouldn't say those *wat-the-heck, damn...even fer bull-shit* ...it make you guys feel bad ya...sorry...sorry...just kinda hiding myself through these...

But thanks...fer always lending me your hands...hold and pick me up through these storm...you guys NEVER put me aside alone...NEVER~! that's wat i'm really grateful of...really...sincere from my heart... And also those swims...thanks onn...it really do helps me...relaxing myself...floating or even *flying* there...that free-flow-feel...wow...really comfertable...

I'm getting out from healing stop in no time!! I promise...you guys really motivate me...through your smiles...i love smiles...i really do...*smile smile*...white teeth...haha~~
[25/6/09 1:33am]