I can tell u that...I am not talking bad about you...it is just letting my feelings out...I have been hidding these for months...they just make me sick...just wanna let it out...actually I don't want anyone to know who I am talking about...just want to lock this blog...then...u turn up...never mind...but...sorry...I didn't confront you but just let this feelings grow in me......
You should know that...beside than him...I also need you...as you're my best friend...I still remember those days when we run and escape from those 'bad students'...get punish by disipline teacher...me too...can't accept that you changed...but it's not only me that feel about your changes...so...sorry......others also feel about your changes...I am only the shocked one...but they didn't......
I know you want to leave space for us...thanks a lot...I and him enjoy being togethervery much...but this doesn't mean that I forget about you...I STILL remember your message...really...I don't mean not to reply you...but I am mad that time...I just...need some time to get myself back...saying the truth...my emotions really swings when I am back from taiwan...up and down...I say: "Break up..." but...inside my heart I still love him very much...I cried many times in T1...my friends there help me up a lot...argues with family, parents and also him......since I came back from Taiwan...everybody treats me like alien...! sorry to tell everyone...I, Joanne lim didn't change at all...it's just you guys think that I am not the same through my apperance...But...I am still the same old me...my 18th birthday...unforgettable...worst...freakin sad...! 18th should be really happy and glad...because I am a grown up girl...But...my family and I...yor...hard to describe...just...many unhappy things happen to me...a lot...bunch......
It's not that I want to hide my stuff up...the problem is...you don't want to talk to me...that's not space...it's reflecting to me that this friendship won't go long...prepare your heart...I ask you about your life...your family...your stuff...you just say: "nothing lor..." ok...that's all...nothing...you've gone with another friends...ya...good.
Although I have him...I still need friends...there are times that i want to hang out with you guys...when I see him with his gang of friends...so sweet...so hurt...because I don't have you already...the one who care of my feelings is not here...but...by the way...thanks to those who help me up when I am down...( "not the best friend but good friend"...haha) and also SHE...they do listen to me...but later on...busy again with their stuff...I am alone now...I need someone to listen to what I cry out...his absence makes my life upside down...especially my mood...haiz...flows up and bang down...so I just keep myself busy with my job...in the office...stress man...working in an office is totally different environment and experience from working out there......
Blank...feel blank...so much words to speak out...so much feelings to express...so much thoughts to splash out...but no one is there...feel depressed inside...no one is there to let me cry out...my life is so BLANK......empty hole inside ya...suddenly...I lost my way...when his hands let go...where are you guys...I...just need you guys ears...to listen to me......
EARS...I need.........
Dnt knw..bt i realy dnt knw hw i changed..hw i realistic..
I wait u reply my msg tat time..4 few days..at least 2 tel me u 2 ok dy..i thought..bt no response at all..i thought u busy wit him so dnt reply..so i better dnt kacau dy..mayb i'm 2 busybody..like hw my fren said me..so..juz like tat..dnt kacau..
u asked my.."hw's life"..i realy dnt knw hw 2 say bout my life like tat..wat can i say when juz nthg happen..everyday is nothing special 4 me..or something happened n passed 2 long until i dnt remember u knw o nt dy..n tat atmosphere is realy nt suitable 2 chat deep..(mayb juz 4 my view)
mayb u can't catch my feel when u were busy 4 activity daily 4 half year..then start date..its nt angry or wat..i dnt knw wat tat feeling cal..bt mayb u felt tat on urself dy..frm""I still need friends...there are times that i want to hang out with you guys...when I see him with his gang of friends...so sweet...so hurt...because I don't have you already...the one who care of my feelings is not here...but...by the way...thanks to those who help me up when I am down...( "not the best friend but good friend"...haha) and also SHE...they do listen to me...but later on...busy again with their stuff...I am alone now...I need someone to listen to what I cry out...""..tats y i mixed wit other frenz in class more often n then make u feel me realistic,"" I saw you having another gang of friends...""...
bt tat time busy preparing spm so i juz pt tat feelings aside..i knw he is taking care n teaching u..so i study wit those frenz who *yuan yi* teach me..realy dnt worry bout u tat time..mayb i'm realy quite selfish..
after spm..
i 1 2 cal u out..bt u go taiwan..
i 1 2 cal u out..bt u hav 2 work at t1..
i 1 2 cal u out..bt i hav 2 work at khelass..
i 1 2 cal u out on ur birthday..bt oni 1 of us:ur boy or me cn rest on same day..
on the day i rest..
i 1 2 cal u out..bt he tel me u had juz go out wit him yesterday(i dnt think u cn go out so often so i dnt ask u at all)..
then when i'm going 2 quit n b free,he told me u'll go 4 nw work dy..then i surrender dy..
++i knw u'll hope 2 spend as much time n chance wit him as possible b4 he go ns..so..juz let it like tat..
then comes all the problems where u think i changed n wat wat..i dnt knw..mayb i changed out of my own knwledge..n sory tat i realy dnt knw wat n hw i m nw..
HEY...dun 4get me too...
i oso can RENT my ear to u d...if u dun mind...as i think we can count as slightly good fren la...i dunno how u treat me as wat type of fren la...normal, good or wat?
bt i will put u in my good fren list
as we together through the four years 'BAND' life, for me , u n others strings hav gave me the sweet memories in secondary school life...never forget~
ok la...stop at here la...dun wan write anymore rubbish word liao...HAHA
take care ^@^
yaya...
cat kent...
u r perfectly my good fren ya...
ya...
those band lifes really put us together...
learnt alot from there...
gain n experience...giv out alot too...^^
those sweet memories...
how can i delete...?
take care ya...in ur 'new home' there...
keep urself safe n healthy nia...
hope to see u soon wor...^o^