Sorry guys for not updating my blog for quite sometime...i'm quite busy these days with different different stuff...BUT i'm here again...with some sort-of-indifferent-and-wild-stuff~^^

Unbelivable...! i did something which tat something is a something which i'm not so me...! haha...actually it's nothing so special or big larh...hehe...so tat not-so-me-something is...i went to the seremban half marathon...and i really do finish the whole event...



as you guys know...i'm not those girl tat like under-the-so-hot-sun activities...i rather sit at home than having basketball in the damn hot afternoon..." i'll become super-tanned" ...tat's wat's i always says...BUT this time i-dunno-why...dunno why i end-up waking up at 6am in the morning just to get myself early there in MPS hall...



actually is yoong xhin who call us out...tis is totally out of my idea...i'm not stepping into tat marathon...tat's my answer when she asked me...then...she ended up calling friends and she also insist me to go...*bluh*...then tat night i enjoyed kfc cheesy wedges and also the cheesy macaroni...*yummy*...so so...those food really increased my carbohydrats and also fats and also energy and also blah blah blah...oh gosh...i cant afford to get so FAT during these days...argh argh...okok then...BECAUSE of those fats...because of friendship...because of curiousity...so so...i ended-up there---MPS!



it's not possible for me to finish those tracks...i'm not finishing them...i told myself...just make it a walk for awhile...just go out and talk larh...again a but...i start to feel so comfortable when sweats starting to flow from my neck, cheek...maybe it's time for me to sweat after a so-long-break since last year...i continue to walk and even run wif kent and xhin...we enjoyed our time being a 'moron' wif lil kids all around...we enjoyed the whole process in spite of one guy missed those fun...haha...



we walk more than run...so the whole process takes me about 1-half-hour...we end this marathon wif 15,000++ of steps taken...and stuck our stomach wif root beers...bravo bravo...!



side-effects=my legs are so sore...pain i mean...it's all red when i take a look at the bottom of my leg...hmmm...my leg's muscle grows happily...hehe...i renew my sweats...and i think tat i lose some of those fats...hmmm...tat's really good...but i think i wont have enough strength to walk all around skol 2moro...it's quite big in durah...


lastly...i'm interested to join this marathon next year...i'm wondering if lil birdly L is coming wif us...^^ i've conquered one of the-imposibble-task in my life during my sweet 18...sounds good ya...*bawakakaka*

sorry guys...long time didnt post...lazy cells ruling over me...furthermore i'm so busy wif my current social life...i can list out '100 reasons of having busy life'...i'm full of so-call-reasons...== ok stop it...going into main idea...

tat day...err...one day...nope, it should be one night...i went to someone's wake wif ws...i'm a big girl...i can drive now, i hang wif my frens often, we play and do crazy stuff...BUT not going to someone wake or funeral with big bunch of buddies...! ok...i drove my fren there...we went in two...stepping into some place i went before...but it doesnt belongs to me...those idols...those sounds...fire and smoke...fake money...i dont really feel comfortable there...but i really want to put a visit to my fren...py...her bro died of blood cancer...leukemia...i think i've got the correct spelling?? i noe tat she can just break down cos of the death...so i insist to make a visit...

the place was so damn jam...3 person's wake in the same moment...damn...somemore...i dunno which place is hers...i didnt even sms her tat i'm coming...oli way...find wif ur own eyes...luckily...my first 'choice' hit the jackpot...we saw her sitting there...they have sort of so-call-system-or-procedure...we waited there almost one hour to talk to her...she cry her heart out...her eyes seems so so red until i'm so sad and down tat night..."it's good for both...ur bro wont suffer anymore...your family also wont have to suffer then onwards..." tat's wat i can say...but deep inside my heart...it's a pain...burden...i suffer...really much pain dwelling inside me...

i and my fren stuck there fer almost 2 hours...we left cos ws's father gotta get a parang knife chasing her if she's not bak home on time...i rushed her bak...then the burden starts bursting out again...it's a new experience stepping into someone's wake without parents' guidence...without someone to protect you...those images i saw just overcome me...it's really SAD to see someone 23 years old just pass away without knowing God...

those burden...pain i mean is knowing someone...knowing souls just leave the world without knowing God...without knowing Him who saves them...without accepting God as their savior...i said it's a relief...but it's NOT!! yes...they left this cruel and painful world...but their next and forever destination it's more and more suffering...it feel so pain when i see souls just going there...

these burdens....God put 'em into me...He let me see...how painful His heart is...He let me feel 'em also...and He's always talking to me...i noe i need to prepare for those prophesies...i need to medidate 'em...as i am making into reality...i AM going to...! so Lord help me...to be sensitive to you...i'm getting mad n dissapointed as many of 'em dont appreciate You...give me those strength to overcome 'em.....

life...so fragile...so brittle...friends....appreciate yours...as it's the ONLY one you get...make it meaningfull and cherish 'em... kado...i'm cherishing mine...so wat bout yours?? [11:56pm]

Things get quite messy now...all over here and there...up and down...err...in short = messy~ i dont really know how to manage 'em...i dont know how to keep and clean 'em...wif my blanky mind...empty eyes...blood-less heart...wat should i do???

I'm really messy inside...really...this life now is getting busy and busier...tough and real tough...i'm just like driving on a road wif port-holes, rocks, drain of water...that's not real difficult road...but...it's just me who cant manage well...so you also know wat...i met rocks...tumble and tumble...

So fast...? nid healing again...?? i didnt really plan it...it was quite-too-fast...i'm like having a test...not SPM or STPM...it's a faith and trust from God...faith and trust-worthy...should i plant that seed?? or i shouldn't...can i trust?? or i shouldn't...tis is my weakness...God is putting me into these kind of test-ES...not one...two...or three...more than wat you know...

I think i cant get it...cant continue 'em...it's healing stop again...really...it's not time to say rubbish...tell everyone wat bad feeling i'm having...scolding those who hurt me...SORRY FRIENDS...i shouldn't say those *wat-the-heck, damn...even fer bull-shit* ...it make you guys feel bad ya...sorry...sorry...just kinda hiding myself through these...

But thanks...fer always lending me your hands...hold and pick me up through these storm...you guys NEVER put me aside alone...NEVER~! that's wat i'm really grateful of...really...sincere from my heart... And also those swims...thanks onn...it really do helps me...relaxing myself...floating or even *flying* there...that free-flow-feel...wow...really comfertable...

I'm getting out from healing stop in no time!! I promise...you guys really motivate me...through your smiles...i love smiles...i really do...*smile smile*...white teeth...haha~~
[25/6/09 1:33am]

am i really too innocent...? too innocent to get cheated...?? *bluh* just get too innocent to be bull-shited by them...??!! hey...come on...being innocent doesn't break the law...it dont hurt someone and should be diklasifikasikan under good-behavior...! but wat-the-heck is going on...seems tat 'innocent' is the most welcomed 'prey' in bull-shit society...

always pointing fingers to others...well...i think it's time to think twice...izzit my problem or those bull-shit's problems...? yeah...gotta admit in front of you guys...i memang...memang...memang...innocent~! so wat?? innocent ma innocent lor...there's nothing wrong...just cant get it...how those bull-shit-society will used this holy-pure-clean-attitude to do those dirty and polluted stuff...?!

searching...finding...looking...fer someone i can really do trust...i noe...there are bunches of girls out there...who really care and love me...i memang appreciate it...don leave me...better than...*wee*...but i also noe that...i gotta find some kind of 'shit'...that's not from 'the bull'...at least few 'shits'...fer me to trust...to prevent hating them...haiz...

so YOU bull-shit...if you're from the bull...stay away from me...!! warn you ya...dont take advantages from innocent girls...they are just who they are...keeping themselves as pure they can...not busuk-and-polluted as YOU...bull-shit...! innocent so wat...that's the way i want...dont regret when YOU mess up wif me...only those 'clean-shits' are welcome...*burst in laughter* i'm actually using shit as a adjective...haha...memang funny...*wakaka*

am i too innocent...?? YEA~!! and tat's the way i want...!